The Four Loves: Eros

The Four Loves, is a book in which Lewis describes the four types of loves in our lives and the use of all of them. The first is Storge which is the affectionate love that you have for someone that you are familiar with. This is commonly seen between family members. The second is Phileo which is the love of friendship. This is the bond between close friends and is more than just companionship. The third love is Eros which is the romance love. And the fourth is Agape, or charity. This is the unconditional love and the love that God is full of. Our reading and this blog post will focus on Eros, the love of romance. Eros is the sense of being in love and is different than sexuality. Eros loves someone for who they are and does not just judge by how they act or look. It does not long for the sexual connection but rather an emotional connection with the other person. "What comes first is simply a delighted pre-occupation with the Beloved--a general, unspecified pre-occupation with her in her totality." The sexual appeal is not what comes first in falling in love but rather, it is that she is all you can think about and you just want to know her better. With Eros, their appearance doesn't matter as much because when you love someone you see them as even more beautiful whether other people think so or not. Lewis says that falling in love happens but being in love is a choice. I thought it was interesting because you cant always control who you fall in love with but you can control if you pursue that feeling or not. He also said some interesting things about what love does when you are married. When you are married, and even before that, both people are trying to change the other in little ways so that they can become the 'ideal' man or woman. This will end up leaving both people unhappy with each other because neither will ever become that perfect image that they have in their minds. I think it is important to understand what the Eros love is but sometimes it is hard to completely grasp. I think it would be interesting to read this again after being married for a little while so that we could understand it in a different way.